A Story About A Bird

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while or acutally know me personally, you know that I live in a wooded area.

My home is surround on three sides by tall trees, lots of invasive honeysuckle (grrrr), wild prairie grasses, and lots of birds.

The fourth side of my home has a cornfield and a road to look at. But, there are many trees to get through before you get to the corn and the road.

Birds perch and nest in all of the trees…birds, birds, birds!

we have bluejays and bluebirds

wrens and woodpeckers

swallows and sparrows

hummingbirds and hawks

vultures and catbirds

and cardinals

Cardinal birds are the state bird of Illinois, where I live.




One year we had a cardinal mama make a nest in the bushes surrounding our front porch. The sweetest cardinal baby emerged from an egg in that nest and we got to see him grow, grow a cool feathered mohawk, fledge, and finally leave the nest.

At any time of the day, I can look outside and see a cardinal bird somewhere.

There is one specific cardinal bird that has really caught my attention as of late.

Acutally, as of about a month since my husband died.

Since that time right up to two minutes ago, a young male cardinal bird has been knocking on the front door of our house.

And he’s knocking on the window over the piano in our dining room.

And he’s throwing himself over and over and over into the large picture window by the dog’s crate with his entire birdy body.

The knocking on the window over the piano gets so aggressive sometimes that I fear he will break the window.

The bird knocks with his beak.

He has a very hard beak.

I have heard people say that when you see a cardinal bird, you are being visited by someone who has passed away.

I don’t really buy into that because there are SO MANY cardinals in my yard year round.

There is a cemetary on the north side of our house, through the vast amount of trees, so if that’s true, all of the cemetary spirits are visiting me nonstop, every single day.

But, I have never in all of my days had a bird so aggressively make itself known to me.

To us…

I have gone outside to look at the two windows that he throws himself and his beak at and yes, there’s a reflection there.

He’s probably attacking the other bird that he sees.

But, the front door?

I don’t know why he knocks on the front door.

Sometimes he flies up towards the three glass panels at the top of the door, as if he’s trying to look inside at us.

Whenever I open the door, he flies away.

He hangs mostly in the burning bush by the large picture window or the walnut tree just beyond that.

And, oh boy, he’s a singer!

A loud singer.

He really seems to want us to see him.

Which immediately made us think…


Gigi has even said “is that bird Dad?”

Girl, I have absolutey no idea.

I have no idea where Chad is now, if he’s anywhere at all.

But, why has this bird at this time in our lives started with this behavior at our home?

That’s a question that I can’t answer.

My friend Sue thinks that it’s not really Chad per se, but that his spirit is guiding the bird to make itself known to us.

My other friend Tina gave me the most beautiful necklace when I saw her last month.

A cardinal pendant.

That I wear everyday now.

The chain that it initially came on was short, so I made a longer chain to keep the pendant low on my chest, more private.

Chad did become an avid birder when we moved to the farm.

I don’t think he ever gave the pigeons a second thought that surrounded him in Chicago.

Once we moved to the country though, he bought bird books and binoculars and placed marks in his books when we spotted a bird on the list.

If the bird that knocks on my windows is him, then…okay.

I really don’t know what to think…and it may be just a crazy-ass bird that I am trying to rationalize as being my dead husband.

But, know this…when I took a Gino’s East stuffed cheese pizza out of the oven two days ago – the cardinal started to slam himself into the large picture window which has a clear view of the oven.

Chad loved stuffed pizza…

One thought on “A Story About A Bird

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