It hasn’t snowed here since November.
I was a bit bummed that there was nothing white in the fields when we woke up yesterday, Christmas Eve.
Taking photos has become a bit boring, mundane, and I feel, at times, like I am just photographing the same things again and again and again.
A fresh snowfall dramatically changes the backdrop.
But, it’s a drab brown out my windows. In the pastures. In the fields.
There’s been a lot of mud.
The sun has been out, though. Trying to emit some sort of winterish heat from itself. It’s only warm when the wind has ceased completely or if I catch the rays in my south facing kitchen window.
Blogging has become a bit mundane for me, too. I feel thoughtless at times. Nothing truly exciting happens around me, which is good really, so I feel like I have nothing important to put forth.
The only thing that I believe has changed around me as of late, is the change I feel within myself.
I have come to a valid understanding this year of who I really want to be.
I really want to be a person who is conscious of how I treat others close to me. It’s something I’ve worked on since my life took a different road than the one I thought I would be walking down, the day my child was diagnosed with cancer.
After my child became sick and to this exact moment, I have felt that honesty and truth and a “realness” needs to come from me.
In how I treat others and most importantly, how I am treated by others.
Our lives are really short in the enormity of time. So, I want to surround myself with people who actually like me.
Who share my values.
Who make me laugh.
Who care about my feelings.
Shouldn’t we all want that?
Yet, we often surround ourselves with people who have…just always been there.
No matter how shitty they treat us.
No matter how thoughtless towards us they are.
Well, I’m done with that.
I have found that the Facebook platform has become so inundated with fakeness that no one really truly notices anyone anymore.
We see pictures, we see posts, but we don’t really see or remember the person behind the postings anymore.
Remember who you are and remember that you are a good person. That’s what I’m telling myself these days.
Behind the gray skies and the brown backdrop of the fields around the farm, I know there’s beauty yet to behold.