Something strange has been happening around us lately.
To our eyes.
To our mailbox.
My grandfather Vern has been deceased for ten years now. He resided at the place we now call home until he moved into an assisted living facility when he was maybe 89. My grandmother Dorothy had passed away some years earlier (I think I was 22 or 23 when she passed from pancreatic cancer) and this home had belonged to her…passed down from her father who it had been passed down by his uncle.
Anyway, Grandpa doesn’t live here anymore.
So, why would he suddenly start receiving mail?
Now, suddenly is something I shouldn’t say so quickly.
Grandpa was hounded by TV Guide for years after his death. “Renew Today” circulars were found quite often in our roadside mailbox. They finally stopped when I sent one back saying “YO, this dude is dead! Stop sending us your shit! He’s NOT renewing his TV Guide anymore!”
Or something like that.
So, it was quite a surprise last month when something came addressed to him in our mail stash.
Cigar Aficionado Magazine.
He didn’t even smoke cigars.
About 500 cigarettes a day, mind you, but not cigars.
I read it.
It was boring.
We thought, “well, THAT was weird.”
Until something else came in the mail for him.
Sports Illustrated Magazine.
I don’t even remember Grandpa ever watching sports, so why would he want to read about them?
Man-Farmer enjoyed reading it. He does love sports, especially baseball.
Again, we all said “now THAT was weird” and went on with our week.
Last week we found the second edition in what I guess is an ongoing subscription of both magazines in our mail.
Both magazines have a label on them with our address and Grandpa’s name along with a date when our/his subscription will end.
April of 2019.
Now, I just began getting these magazines and so this does not constitute a full years worth of product.
Should I call and complain?
“Hey! My dead Grandpa Vern’s subscription to your boring magazine has not been arriving as it should if my “end of subscription” date is April”.
But, I have some questions about this…
who ordered these magazines in the first place?
does Grandpa have a phone or internet access wherever he is?
if he does, why didn’t he order Organic Gardening or O Oprah?
I would read those!
It is indeed a mystery.
Now, if you need me, I’ll just be sitting here reading up on Danny Devito and his sunny side…