My daughter is in a school class with more males than females.
Testosterone is runnin’ rampant at her school in her day to day classes.
These kids (the majority of them) have been in the same school system since they were 3 years old…preschool.
We don’t merge with other schools for junior high or high school. It’s the same kids for 12 + years of schooling.
And my oldest daughter’s class, the class of 2023, has been labeled since they were probably 8 years old.
They have been deemed “the bad group”.
And it’s still being said and they are teenagers now.
It’s disheartening to hear.
A few bad seeds in this class full of testosterone has spoiled the whole crop. Well, to those that have dealt with them anyway.
I was at my younger daughter’s school a few months ago and was talking to a teacher and she asked about my oldest daughter. She said “oh she’s in that bad class.”
Here we go again.
My kid isn’t one of the bad kids. And there are many more like her, yes even some boys. But, everyone ALWAYS focuses on the few bad kids in the group.
I know many of these “bad” kids. And yeah, some can be real as*holes. But the labels have got to go. My daughter knows that this group is labeled as troubled and the least liked by a majority of the faculty at the schools. She says “yeah, there are some real jerks in the group, but everyone has their positives.”
My daughter tries very hard to see the good in everyone. Even the really bad kids, she will say “sure he has some problems, but one on one he’s really nice.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are some really annoying kids in the group. And a person can only take so much…recently my daughter has said “I’m so OVER *so-and-so* because he’s so disruptive in class and I can’t stand him!”
It’s always a him.
Occasionally it’s a her, and it’s two HERS in particular who have trouble connecting with the other girls at school, but for the most part the “bad” kids at school are the boys.
Why are there always kids at school who feel the need to disrupt everyone else?
Are they looking for attention even it’s it bad attention?
What are they missing in their lives that they feel the need to annoy, bother, or disrupt everyone else’s day?
What makes a boy a bully?
Is there an undiagnosed ADHD happening in there?
There are a few boys in her class who do have some degree of autism and they do have trouble connecting with the other boys, but they aren’t the disruptive ones.
Is it just a level of maturity that’s happening? Because like I said, the kids who are the most unruly at school are the males. And the class of 2023 is overwhelmingly male.
Yet, when we went recently to a meeting about our children going to Washington D.C. in May of 2019 (the last 8th grade trip…unless another teacher picks it up… since the teacher who has been going on this journey for 20+ years is retiring) the majority of the parents at the meeting were parents of girls.
Do the parents of the boys realize that their kids aren’t ready for a trip like that?
Do the parents of boys hang on by the tips of their fingernails every day waiting and waiting for their sons to mature?
Do they not realize that nipping bad behavior now prevents them from becoming “that guy” at the office when they are 30 that everyone dislikes?
I have no idea…I have daughters.
Girls mature a lot faster than boys.
I have no doubt in my mind that my daughter is responsible, capable, and ready for unexpected things that get tossed at her.
Since she has such a solid sense of self, she isn’t afraid to tell the boys at school to cut the crap.
I’m trying to raise strong daughters with strong voices.
And since my oldest is surrounded by so many males at school, we’ve told her that she must never allow any disrespect from any of them if it’s directed towards her…or if she sees it being directed towards another classmate. And that she must never be afraid to report unruly or dangerous or inappropriate behavior by these boys to her principal. A principal who happens to be a man, but a man with daughters himself.
One boy whom she has been in class with since preschool decided not to go to school this year, he’s being homeschooled.
Because of the other boys.
And another boy we know changed schools because of the overwhelming amount of testosterone-directed-bullying going on in this group.
There needs to be more attention payed by parents of some of these bullying boys and they need to own their kids’ actions (which is NOT being done). There needs to be more accountability and acknowledgment. And the big one…communication.
So that my daughter’s class can stopped being labeled “That Bad Group” and just be known as The Class of 2023.