Syncing With My Tribe

I know many moms who have many daughters.

It seems like you start to get pulled by some unforeseen force towards other large groups of females when you yourself are surrounded at home by other females.

I have two daughters.

Many of my mom friends have 2-4 daughters.

I have few friends with just sons.

My son-only friends are people I have known forever and we became friends before we started having sex with our partners in order to create more humans.

So, there’s a different bond there to start things off with.  But, it’s nice to have these friends with sons that I can shoot ideas off on…but, I will never know what it’s like to have to buy large amounts of food.  I have heard some horror stories about grocery bills from moms of multiple boys.

As strange and as stereotypical as it sounds…girls don’t eat as much as boys.

Well, my girls don’t.

They are snackers.  They pick at food.  They eat like birds.

Very much like I did as a kid.

And throughout college.

In college, I lived in an all-girls dorm.

We converged together weekly to watch ThirtySomething while drinking Diet Coke Big Gulps.

Then we moved to a large house that, at one point, housed probably 11 females-give or take a few sporadic non-resident friends who never seemed to leave.

I think some of them were eaters, but since we were poor college students, we only ever consumed large amounts of food when someone’s parents came to town and took us all out to dinner or we decided to pile into our cars (we had four cars parked in the driveway) where we drove to the Bonanza steakhouse to fill up on a chopped steak with unlimited salad bar (including that giant hunk of cheddar that sat under the warm lights that you could shave a piece off of) for $6.99 a person.

When you live with large numbers of other females, something strange happens.

You get in sync.

And by in sync, I mean you all start getting your periods at the same time.

I have ZERO idea how this happens.  I have ZERO idea why it happens.

Is it a planet thing?

An inner-wiring connection thing?

An ice-cream shop conspiracy thing?

I don’t know.

I just know it happens.

You all get mood swings at the same time.

You buy pads and tampons in bulk because they are all going to get used sooner than later.  You will NEVER be short of tampons if you live with other girls…“HELP!  Who has a tampon STAT!”  A statement heard reverberating from the bathroom numerous times in a female driven home.

You all want to watch sappy, tear-jerker romantic films where you can all sob together without judgement.

You all scream at one another about “who’s not doing the dishes, who’s boyfriend better start wearing his damn underwear when going from the bathroom to the bedroom, or you know you owe me some money, so pay up now…just don’t dump a Ziploc full of pennies on my bed this time!”

Things can get down-right scary.

A tribe was born during college.

A tribe that still exists and a tribe that has survived the syncing.

But, Man-Farmer…and other dads who live with large numbers of females in their homes…watch out.

I already start my body feeling like it’s trying to sync with my teen daughter’s hormonal cycle.

Now, I’m an older mom.

But,  I still get my period every month.

It may stop within the next 3-8 years.

If it does, then there may be some solace coming for my husband.

He may only have to deal with two females with louder voices, stronger opinions, more emotions, instead of three.

Well, I’m a pretty passionate person.

Maybe, monthly period or not,  I will still be using my voice loudly, shouting my strong opinions in my own personal parades, and showing emotions like they may go out of style tomorrow.

Because I can.

Because I’m a woman and I can do and say and be who I want to be.

I don’t want to become a mean menopausal woman.

My own mom was downright SCARY to people when she was going through menopause.

I remember being at a professional baseball game with her and watching as she squashed some poor young guy, who was just selling some shirts at a stand inside the stadium, into nothingness because he didn’t know what size toddler shirts he had.

And my mom, during her entire tirade, had no idea how she sounded.

Why our hormones create so much of our personality are somewhat of a mystery to me.

It’s the same hormonal discrepancy that allows my husband to only do ONE thing at a time.  He can’t multi-task.  I blame his large amounts of testosterone.

I ask him numerous amounts of thought-provoking questions as soon as we turn off the lights to go to sleep at night.  He blames my large amounts of estrogen.

Moms of large numbers of daughters…my hat goes off to you.

You are living and surviving with versions of yourself.

And moms of large numbers of sons…I hear the smell is unbearable.

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