CAN…

Can you get poison ivy in your eyes by mowing over A LOT of poison ivy plants and the dust and dirt goes a’flyin’ around you and your coughing and spitting and getting shit on your face?

Cause that just happened to me.


Can we PLEASE stop making television shows featuring kids cooking?

KIDS BBQ CHAMPIONSHIP!
KIDS BAKING CHALLENGE!
KIDS VEGAN CASSEROLE CHALLENGE!
I made that last one up, but it may be in the works at some studio in crazy LA LA Land.

My kids won’t even put a poptart in the toaster most days.

Wait…Gigi does like to bake.  But she has a very hard time following recipes because
“I WANT TO DO IT MY WAY DAMN IT!”  hinders her from properly following a baking recipe and so we have to eat cookies with 88 pounds of sugar in them and we can actually feel our teeth melting out of our heads.

With that said, there’s no way in HELL they’ll l be creating their own baby back rib rub, marinating some chicken for 12 hours…my god, my oldest gets freaked out by the heat that comes out of the oven when I ask her to take the Ore-Ida fries out.

These TV  kids shows can’t be real kids, right?!

They are like some pod-people.  Or just the offspring of parents who really want their own cooking show, but they can’t get the TV execs to go with their ideas (or they are just really ugly and not TV material) and so they make their kids do it.

I don’t get it.  I don’t like it.

Where’s Julia Child?


Can you tweak your back playing Wii bowling and forever be impaired?

I like to do fancy leg lifts with my free leg when doing Wii bowling (or regular bowling at an alley, I’m not afraid to shine) and a few months ago…you read that right…I was doing fancy Wii bowling in my living room and later on could feel some pain on the left side of my lower back.

And it still hurts.

It hurts when I lay wrong in bed…I’m not even sure what that means…can you lay wrong?

What is the right way to lay and what could therefore be the wrong way to lay?

I dunno.

It hurts when I roll over in bed.

But only if I roll over wrong (?).

Yesterday I got up and the OTHER side of my back hurt.

COME ON!

I sat around most of the day with a heating pad on it and I must say that today, it feels fine.

Until I guess I lay wrong again.


Can someone please tell me how on earth I am supposed to live on this planet and thrive and become a better person and all that good stuff if some goofy old men in Washington DC can sit in a room and make decisions for the entire United States of Good Ol’ America without consulting with EVERYONE else that works with them?

Why do MEN always get to make decisions about women’s issues?

Why do people keep electing these men to office?

Why don’t women have more of a say so in what’s good for them?

It’s as if a reversal of the earth has taken place…you know when Superman had to save Lois Lane from dying and so he reversed time by spinning the planet Earth backwards?

Did this actually happen?

Because I feel like I’m living in the past.

When MEN can hole themselves up in a room and write a proposal that eliminates maternity care and pediatric visioncare and pap smears at Planned Parenthood from our healthcare policies…I feel like the country I live in has gone back to a time that women already fought through.

It’s a hard task to raise daughters in a land that doesn’t still fully respect them.

Yes, they can drive and vote and work and yet…they are still a minority.

Women are still not as powerful in this country as the men are.
There’s still not full equality.

As Pat Benatar once sang…”let’s put up our dukes, let’s get down to it”

Ladies, it’s round 2 3 4 5 6 for us.

Time to fight for our rights…again.

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